The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World by Alan Downs

It is my personal mission to help members of the LGBTQ+ community to lead healthier and more balanced lives by freeing their authentic selves from their automatic patterns. Alan Downs‘ excellent book, which I review here, establishes some valuable groundwork for understanding the impact of growing up gay in a hostile culture and moving beyond the patterns that helped us to get through the pain. In the article I describe some key concepts including the escape from shame, the shift from seeking approval to seeking contentment and the movement beyond body objectification.

Move your depression along

How can you move your depression along? Read here about two possilbities: antidepressants and sport.

How a handbag can hurt: gay jokes and their disastrous consequences

Picture the scene: At a recent concert, one member of our group, a man in his 60’s, was trying to find his seat in the row in front of us as he clutched a small bag. The bag had been given to everyone by the organiser of the concert as a free promotional gift. One of the men in our group commented in a funny voice “Lovely handbag!“ Upon hearing this, the slightly older man wordlessly smiled and pranced for a second in an effeminate way.