Why Self-Criticism Can Hurt Us So Much
Feelings of low self-worth and low self-esteem plague many of our clients in psychotherapy, counselling and coaching.
The severe self-criticism and lack of self-compassion that we hear about so often is a big burden for many to carry and a source of great suffering.
We can think of these as common, learned mental habits that play a role in many psychological themes such as anxiety, depression, low self-worth, the management of long-standing and chronic physical illnesses and body image issues to name just a few.
While it is normal and even necessary to have parts of our personalities who assess what we are doing and whether we are behaving according to our values, the more extreme, unkind version of this leads many of us to have very dark moments.
The Inner Critic — a Loud, Sometimes Nasty Voice Inside
Sometimes people call this the “inner critic”, „inner criticizer“ or “inner judge”, as it seems intent on consistently commenting on us, our actions, our thoughts, maybe also our appearance quite harshly.
We might „hear“ a voice inside our minds say „How could you be so stupid?“, „There you go again, making a mess of things!“, „You’re just not good enough!“ or „I’m not worthy“, „I’m stupid“, „I’m just plain ugly“ or „I don’t matter“. Or we may not even be fully aware of it in words but just through feelings.
When the inner criticizer or judge is dominant, we may feel deeply disappointed in ourselves, our mood may plummet, we may find it really hard to make good choices for ourselves and be pro-active and all of this can have a huge detrimental impact on how we lead our lives and on our well-being.
Self-Compassion: A Powerful Alternative to Reduce the Influence of Your Inner Critic
So what if we told you we could do something about that?
Not removing that voice entirely but helping you build an alternative “soundtrack” internally?
A soundtrack that lets you be kinder to yourself through gentle, loving but persistent invitation for your inner critic to relax back a little and allow a more generous, loving, kind and friendly internal internal voice have more influence over how you feel about yourself.
This is possible. There are some good tools for low self-esteem. And of the different pathways into the themes of low self-esteem and self-worth, one proven pathway is through activating “self-compassion”.
As long as we are alive, our brains can learn new habits and focusing on developing self-compassion can help you more often be much kinder to yourself automatically.
You can cultivate a healthy, motivating new voice which emerges to counterbalance the old, very critical one. Thankfully, as long as you are alive, your brain can learn new habits so focusing on developing self-compassion can help you create a new pattern in which you are often much kinder to yourself automatically.
This can reduce feelings of stress, overwhelm and anxiety, improve your mood, reduce rumination, help you be more present, be comfortable, feel safe and peaceful and be more able just to sit quietly and be with your thoughts and feelings.
What the 21-Day Self-Compassion Course Offers
Julie Leonard offers a course which guides you over 21 days through the development of a new habit of self-compassion.
In her self-compassion course Julie uses science-based methods inspired by Professor Kristin Neff to help you to invite you to build a new mental habit of self-kindness.
The course takes place over 21 days over zoom to help you get the regular practice that any new habit needs in order to establish itself.
The course does not replace a full therapy or coaching. However it is a wonderful, pragmatic supplement to ongoing therapy or coaching. And it can be a useful way to do something for your mental health while waiting to get an appointment for therapy or coaching.
Start Your Self-Compassion Journey Today
We wish you all the best on your journey to learning how to be kind to yourself. Click here to get the latest information about the next self-compassion courses.